Vallay Brass Du Noard!

Sorry I don’t have a more click-baity title, I just assume my friends aren’t all idiots.


There’s a non-zero probability that at some point in the last week or two you’ve thought to yourself, “that sumbitch DietBlue hasn’t updated his vblog with his annual Québec mountain bike road trip video.” I appreciate the thought, but let me allay any fears you might have that I got mad and deleted all the footage: The Vallée Bras Du Nord road trip 2017 edit is finally here!

Continue reading “Vallay Brass Du Noard!”

GoPro Bike Crash!

Wherein I crash my bicycle and proceed to post the video to the internet.

I don’t mean to brag, but I’m a really good guy at mountain bike ride. But less so at blog do. The other day I was all fired up to go for a solo rip at the local GORBA trails and some part of me really thought it would be a good idea to wear my cheap GoPro knock-off. Even at the trailhead I considered not wearing it, but I must have known I was going to crash and it would be more fun to have video evidence.

So here’s a bike crash:


It’s fun to slow it down to a quarter speed and watch me slowly eat shit.

Alright that’s it, see you around.

SPAZNEV: Sedona, Azirona

The second of our three major destinations was the town of Sedona, Arizona which is renowned for having been founded with a bunch of pretty rock formations in the immediate vicinity among which folks have built myriad hiking and biking trails. This is actually a really good draw. So first we had to drive from Death Valley through the south end of Lost Vegas and right past the Hoover Dam.

We had to drive across that bridge in the background so may as well stop.

There’s a lot of people wandering around aimlessly staring at their phones at the Hoover Dam and a lot of getting hit by selfie sticks and also jaywalking. The water level seemed really low but not because of global warming and I couldn’t remember if there was a fight scene from a movie where they used the near-vertical face of the dam as a horizontal surface on ropes? I never bothered looking it up either.

We questioned whether or not it was a God dam as well.

heh heh.

So then onto Sedona! Except we went to this steakhouse and drank a beer and camped at this place called Wild Cow Campground and on the drive up there (in the mountains) we saw a COYOTE and then we saw a real-life BOBCAT and it was really neat. We got there at night but eventually it was morning. Madman saw a female elk (WILD COW) on his way to take a poop then after he told me about it and I went and looked at it too. I only took video of her but here’s what the walk back down the hill looked like:

Here walks Madman. He never scored.

So then we drove along a bunch of road and ended up at Sedona, Azirona. We ended up settling down at a campsite on BLM land. Here’s a pro tip/lifehack for camping in the USAmericas: the Burro of Land Mandagement (BLM) has what we call Crown Land and you can camp on it for free. Woo! Our campsite was shitty:

Shitty AMESOME. No wait that didn’t work did it?

Furthermore, at night there was a lot of stars and then a lot of yipping coyotes which really put the cherry on top of the des(s)ert experience (see what I did there?). We left the tent set up to guard our spot and headed to hike across the DEVILS BRIDGE which is a natural arch. After our experience in Moab, Utah a couple of year ago we’re kinda over arches? But we went anyways because it was actually a nice hike.

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So then it was time for get ready for bed! And have campfire! and get bike rental secured for tomorrow! And pretend your man-part is an axe-handle! We ate so much of hotdogs prepared in JETBOIL bramd cookware. Oh what a night it was. Oh and also there was a spider that came out of the fire rocks and was big enough to put the fear of God into both of us.

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So next day: BIKE RIDEING.

I’m throwing together a whole video of biking. I’ll EMBEDDEN it here when I get finished with it. But here’s some pictures of BIKEING in Sedona:

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EDIT: I’ve finished the video so embed:


So then I was tired. While I biked Madman did some other stuff? Climbed Mt. Airport and took the picture from the top of this page, saw some ancient Indian burial grounds (for I guess the early settlers from India? I know, weird).

Then because I was tired and probably grouchy and whiny we went back to Kingman and stayed in a hotel and had a shower. It was good stuff.

Presented without comment or context:

Twenty-three Skidoo outta here!

END OF PART TWO \ Part three coming Spring 2019.