How nerds think Part 01

I’ve got like 10⁶  things to do this afternoon.

 

Vallay Brass Du Noard!

There’s a non-zero probability that at some point in the last week or two you’ve thought to yourself, “that sumbitch DietBlue hasn’t updated his vblog with his annual Québec mountain bike road trip video.” I appreciate the thought, but let me allay any fears you might have that I got mad and deleted all the footage: The Vallée Bras Du Nord road trip 2017 edit is finally here!

Slow Motion Dogs Jumping

Let me set the scene for you: It was the Monday of a long weekend. A camera is set up in the back yard and our shirtless hero gets his doggers to jump a few times. Import the video into [software name deleted] and use the [plugin name deleted] to slow the motion to a crawl. Export!

Enjoy:

By the way you’re welcome for reminding you of how awesome that song is.

GoPro Bike Crash!

I don’t mean to brag, but I’m a really good guy at mountain bike ride. But less so at blog do. The other day I was all fired up to go for a solo rip at the local GORBA trails and some part of me really thought it would be a good idea to wear my cheap GoPro knock-off. Even at the trailhead I considered not wearing it, but I must have known I was going to crash and it would be more fun to have video evidence.

So here’s a bike crash:

 

It’s fun to slow it down to a quarter speed and watch me slowly eat shit.

Alright that’s it, see you around.

Sucks to Suck (or) What’s the Point of Hobbies?

It’s a part of our go-go-go culture to define ourselves be what we do for a living. Over the past few weeks I’ve been doing a bit of soul-searching and have decided that my job pays the bills, but I would rather define myself by what I do during my evenings and weekends. My two current ambitions are piano and mountain biking, both of which have actually been part of my life for a number of years.

Recently I’ve passed my Grade 4 Piano exam through the Royal Conservatory of Music. This is a great landmark for my career as a pianist, but it’s brought another question to the forefront: what’s going on with my mountain biking?

Being mediocre in Sedona, Arizona (and being okay with it). Self-shot.

SPAZNEV: The Grand Canyon

Boy, did I ever crap the bed on finishing this road diary webdiary. It’s been like six months since we went to the desert and there’s snow all over the place and I decided I’ve earned these three beers over the past hour so what better time to write about hot hot heat?

Update: out of beer.

The problem with being out of beer right now is that I don’t really have any mix, and my other option is switching to scotch. But scotch is 1) delicious and b) expensive so I don’t really want to get into it. But I may have to.

A pound of fat vs. a pound of muscle: the internet is wrong.

We’ve all heard it: muscle is more dense than fat. I’m not here to argue that point, I’m here to point out that the internet is wrong. I know, shocker.

Make your own custom Android icons!?

One of the things I enjoy about most things I own is customizing them and making them my own. So when I suddenly had the thought recently that there must be a way to customize every single icon on my desktop, I got pretty excited. Turns out the whole process isn’t that difficult and the results is pretty great.

Fact: My cell phone bill is much smaller than yours.

But my weener is much larger.

Telecom companies and I have a direct conflict of interest: they want as much of my money as they can get in the form of paying for their services, and I want to give them as little of my money as possible. The best possible solution for me is to find the balance of service and price that keeps me happy and keeps as much skrilla in my bank account as possible so I can use it to buy bikes and flannel that hold much greater value to me.

How to make your computer more better

Just make sure they don’t see this if you have to turn on your computer at the airport.

Maybe not a good idea if you actually do anything illegal.